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“And Greet with Joy the Dawn of a Golden Age”

Age is but a number, so say the wise. And in this swashbuckling era of Botox and Photo-shopping where medical science is labouring hard to ensure that 50 is the new 30 and 70 is but another name for 50, and however knobbly knee-ed you may be, wearing a mini skirt is completely acceptable, the frillier the better; none of us have any doubt that the wise are -err, sagaciously justified in saying so!

But as you rather coyly step from one decade into another dear ladies, daintily airbrushing your years away, let me bolster your sagging (ahem) spirits by reassuring you that every new decade brings with it some unexpectedly delightful benefits that no one ever told you about. So what is in store for you dear sisters as you reach the mid-century mark?

1. You finally and totally, stop caring a damn! Your best friend points out that you have added yet another tire around the mid-riff, the sleazy neighbour continues to talk to your décolleté rather than to you, the husband is astounded that the fridge is not stocked with his favourite beer, despite the fact that you have been travelling on work the entire week; any of these things would have had you tearing your hair out or over compensating defensively in your 30s-40s avatar. But in your 50s you just couldn’t be bothered! And here’s how my middle finger looks dear neighbour! Rhett Butler would be proud of you!

2. You learn to fight for the remote! Finally! I will watch GOT and NOT the 100th version of a cricket league! I will not eat what you decide to order. I will keep the curtains drawn and the AC at sub-polar temperatures should I want to. And no, I will certainly not get up and start organizing lunch, the second I have sat down to read the papers just because you are hungry! Aah, the freedom that comes with saying NO!

I am given to understand that there is a perfectly scientific explanation for this added aggression which is something to do with testosterone levels moving up and \ oestrogen levels moving down, which is BTW what kept us in a cow- like state pre the 50s and in contrast made our dear men so manly and assertive! So the next time you say NIET, its good old science at work, so don’t worry you have an alibi!

3. Every Day is Carpe Diem! For some reason reaching the 50s makes us all suddenly aware of our own mortality. The prospect of a meeting with our Maker looming over the horizon drives us in either of two directions. Some of us embrace spirituality and nobility with a bit of vengeance, hoping to erase our past sins with exponential amounts of good works and noble thoughts (my mother-in -law is SUCH a nice lady!) or we choose to go in the direction of squeezing in everything we ever wanted to do but didn’t, in this decade. “Good lord! My daughter in law is going to end up wearing all my jewellery and my precious Banarasis which I have been accumulating instead of me!” are some thoughts that start invidiously creeping in. Which is the reason you see all that OTT bling happening to all the aunts at the wedding!

So as you crest the semi-centennial decade on the tumbling waves of your life dear girls, embrace it with joy and hope and vim and vigor, for this is the decade meant for you to truly come into your own! And a hip hip hurrah to all of you!